Hey, Doctor! I know that change is hard, but is there a solution to why people don’t want to change?
There are two main issues that keep individuals from changing. They are pride and shame.
PRIDE is used to deny a problem exists or to minimize a problem. It’s like acknowledging that there is smoke, then refusing to believe that a fire exist.
SHAME is the opposite. Shame keeps people from changing because shame says, “I’m hopeless. I’ll never change.” or “I can’t believe what I did. I don’t want anyone to know.” Max Lucado said, “If pride goes before the fall, then shame is what keeps you from getting up after one (a fall).”
Both of these two put and can keep individuals in spiritual bondage which prevents change. This bondage is what keeps individuals from turning to God with their problems.
Individuals need to be reminded of, or learn that God says in
I John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Confession and repentance of pride allows God’s power to work. It cleanses individuals and releases them from shame to allow freedom in Christ.
Jesus said in John 8:11,
“Neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more.”
Arguing, fussing and disagreements occur in marriage when couples fail to live the roles given by God to each. Ephesians 5:25, 33 states, “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it.” Verse 33 states, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself: and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
The love a wife needs, desires, and requires is an unconditional love of patience, kindness, no envy or jealousies, and humility in responding to her requests and needs. Men, it is important to not throw up or bring up past mistakes and hurts after forgiveness is granted. An unconditional love toward your wife is one that believes in her and seeks to bring out the best in her. She needs to know that you, as her husband, will protect her and never fail to love her as God loves the church.
Verse 33 reveals a wife must respect her husband. This respect is to be given even if it is not deserved. Healthy, biblical marriages must function as God designed in order for each person’s needs to be truly met. Much arguing, disagreeing, and fussing will be eliminated as husband and wife submit to God and each other, and they obey God’s Laws and Truth for living.
Everyone struggles with fears of, or the pain from rejection. Rejection strikes the core of our innermost being causing intense pain and harm. Rejection leads to relationship failure, addictions, spiritual struggles, etc.
What is God’s cure for rejection? The answer is simple. It is Love!
However, it is God’s love as experienced in our inner being. Author Dave A. Seamands, in his book, “Freedom from the Performance Trap” p. 67 states: “In some Christians, however, damaged emotions are so intertwined with sins of the Spirit that special healing and reprogramming are necessary.”
This author understands precisely the damage from rejection.
God’s love and healing comes by applying
Colossians 2:6. It states:
“As ye have therefore receive Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in Him:”
How do we receive Christ Jesus?
We ask him to come into our heart by painting over our sin of disbelief. The same is true for rejection. We confess to the Lord our sin of believing we are unlovable. According to God’s Truth, it is a fact that we ARE lovable, therefore, we believe it to be true.
The exchange takes place, and we are now free in Christ in this area of our life.
This is God’s cure for rejection.
Dear friends, God doesn’t want anything from you. He wants to care for you in times of pain, when troubles come, and in sorrow.
In John 14:18, Jesus says, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.”
Read it again. Jesus tells you, “I will come to you!” He wants to heal your brokenness, set you free from what has you imprisoned and/or put you in bondage, and to comfort you when you mourn (Isaiah 62:1-3).
There is much more to receive from Him, but He only gives as we are able to bear it.
In John 16:12, Jesus says, “I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.” He is a kind, gentle, and loving Father who heals us as we are able to bear it. He’s getting you ready to hear from Him. What do you do? Step aside. Surrender your heart to Him and let healing and freedom take the place in you.
Ephesians 4:31 says, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.” The key word is “to let” which means allow. Ephesians 5:1 states, “Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children.”
Yes, that is right. We are His beloved/dear children. Now allow God to care for you as a parent would a hurt and sick child.
This question is complex, but I will simplify. All addictiveness begins with an inner void: God created an inner void that He alone can meet. When someone chooses to fill the inner void with something or someone, addiction begins to grow. The more the process repeats, the stronger the addictiveness becomes.
However, if the same person chooses to satisfy an inner void with a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ, addiction does not grow strong nor take root. While this is a very simple definition, the point is clear. God made us to need Him. Without Him, people fill an inner void with substances or relationships. As a counselor, we seek to lead people back to a new relationship with God. In so doing, God meets their needs and addiction does not occur.
Philippians 2:13 states:
“for it is God, which worketh in your to will and to do of His good pleasure.”
John 10::10 states:
“and ye shall know the Truth and the Truth will set you free.”
Those bound to addictiveness can find freedom through knowing the Truth.
We turn to God and allow Jesus to work in each component to make the following changes.
Isaiah 61:1 states,
“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.”
Luke 4:18 says,
“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.”
The first component is COGNITIVE:
We need to know the truth about ourselves, God, and others.
The second is RELATIONAL:
Others need to model these truths for us, and we need them to encourage, affirm, and accept us, but even this is not enough.
The third is SPIRITUAL:
We need the Lord working in our lives to give us wisdom, to give us courage to take steps of faith, and to give us powers to fight the uphill battle of codependency.
And last is TEMPORAL:
We need time to allow God to heal and change us.
More and more people are asking this question, and with the current unemployment at 4.1%, it stands to reason they are asking this question.
It is God’s Will for each able-bodied person to work. Paul states in 2 Thessalonians 3:10, “…that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” Therefore, it is God’s Will for you to work. Being unemployed, now, does not mean you cannot work. There are volunteer jobs available and part-time jobs seem to be more abundant also.
In some cases or situations, God is preparing the best job for you. Remaining patient is a key factor, here. Career Counselors advise the following when unemployed:
· Update resume
· Ask friends and family for leads
· Work 40 hours at getting a job. Make it your job to get a job. Applying at only a few locations, rarely yields the unique position you deserve
Trust God and rely on His promises. He is our source and not an employer. Philippians 2:13 states, “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”
Can You Shed Some Light on God’s View of My Current Situation? Once Again, God’s Word has the Answers!
He tells us that we are part of His body/church. We are one “in Christ.” He sees your giftedness, talent, and purpose for your life. He says in Romans 12:3, “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
He is concerned about your situation. God is working to increase your personal relationship with Him. He wants you to know His will “…to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” Col. 1:9. Read it again. God wants to teach you His way of handling your current situation.
He wants to teach you to walk worthy as a child of God, pleasing (be content, be kind, be slow to anger) and bear spiritual fruit (be productive) while fulfilling His purposes for your life. Let go of your agenda and accept God’s for your life (read Colossians 1:9-11).
Friends, REMEMBER “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. When you accepted Christ as your Saviour you became ‘called’ to His service.
The Bible has a lot to say about diseases and causes. The sins of our ancestors can be passed down to us according to Exodus 20:5 to the third and fourth generation. Therefore, as long as a family system continues in a particular sin it will remain in their family. An example would be alcoholism.
Yet, can a sinful act actually cause a physical illness? The prophet Elisha in II Kings 5 had instructed Naaman in how to be healed of leprosy. Naaman followed the instructions to dip himself seven times in the Jordan River. He did and was healed. Naaman was so grateful that he wanted to pay Elisha, but God told him not to take any payment or offering from Naaman. Elisha refused Naaman’s offers, but his servant Gehazi secretly approached Naaman later and asked for the payment for himself.
When Gehazi returned Elisha confronted him and he denied his actions “…thy servant went no whither (verse 25).” Then the leprosy of Naaman appeared upon Gehazi and Elisha told him (verse 27) “the leprosy therefore of Naaman shall cleave unto thee and unto thy seed forever.” It was to be passed down through his genes (seed). It became part of his physical heritage.
Friends, be careful what you do because your actions can have effects upon your family for generations not only spiritually but physically as well.
Notice what happened to King David. He lost his hope because he was not focused upon God. Hope and focus go together. Where there is no hope, the focus is lost. When the focus switches from God to something or someone else, hope is lost. God’s answer is simple. Focus back upon Him by putting Him first. Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”