Marriage is the most basic and sacred of all institutions. There is no greater institution than marriage because marriage is God’s method of continuing the human race and ultimately His plan for mankind (Gen. 2:21-25; 4:1-2). It goes without saying, the family is under intense attach in our modern culture. According to key divorce statistic with Forbes Advisor, the U.S. marriage rate is 6 per 1,000 people, which is 60% recorded in 2021.
I believe there are several reasons marriages fail:
1. Before marriage, couple must understand God’s plan for marriage. This lack of understanding ultimately leads to divorce or separation – both physically and mentally (Mt. 19:1-7: Gen. 2:24-25).
2. Before marriage, couples must understand the Basic Law of Life. Couples who do not understand this truth will ultimately lead to divorce or separation. Fulton J. Sheen in “Love, Marriage and Children” states “[n]o pleasure ever revives in a permanent form until one has passed through a moment of pain” (Hebrews 12:2-3; II Cor. 2:1-4).
3. Before marriage, couples must understand the basic differences between males and females. This lack of understanding will ultimately lead to separation or divorce. Fulton J. Sheen states “a man, because he is concerned with nature, is much more impersonal. Woman, inasmuch as she is dedicated to life and is the symbol of rebirth and renewal, is much more concerned with the personal. Hence, men speak of objects women speak of persons; (Gen. 3:9-19).
4. Before marriage, couples must learn to communicate properly. This lack of understanding will ultimately lead to separation or divorce. A definition of communication is as follows: Expressing your needs, desires, and interests both verbally and in action in such a way you get the message across without tearing down the character of the other person (Romans 12:10).
5. Before marriage, couples must understand God’s plan for handling money. This lack of understanding will ultimately lead to separation or divorce (Mat. 6:27-34). God’s priority for handling money is found in Matthew 6:33 “but seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
6. Before marriage, couples must understand and practice forgiveness. This lack of understanding will ultimately lead to separation or divorce. Someone said “To sin is human, to forgive is divine,“ (Eph. 4:32).
7. Before marriage, couples must understand how to handle conflict. This lack of understanding can ultimately lead to separation or divorce. A beginning point in properly handling conflict is:
A. Identify the problem without blaming. Reach out to a counselor or Pastor for help.
B. Seek God’s Truth in prayer and separately resolve the sin in your own life concerning the conflict (Matt. 6:33), as revealed by the Holy Spirit.
C. Practice the Truth you have discovered and the lessons you have learned (Jam. 1:23)
D. Leave the results to God even if your spouse refuses to handle conflict God’s way. (Jeremiah 7:23).
8. Before marriage, couples must understand and practice prayer for the preservation of the Marriage Union (Rom. 8:11-12). This lack of understanding can lead to separation or divorce. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, “more things are wrought through prayer than this world dreams of.”
9. Before marriage, Christian couples must understand and allow God to use each other and the conflicts within the relationship to shape and mold each other into the image of Christ (1 Thes. 4:3). This lack of understanding may lead to separation or divorce.
10. Before marriage, couples must understand God’s plan of ministry for the marriage. That is right! God brings couples together and he has a plan or area of service for married couples. (Eph. 2:10; 5:21-33)
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